Pretty sure you have the right guy but you’re not sure if he’s thinking about taking things up a notch?
You're Ready For Him to Pony-up With a Ring
But, how can you tell when he is ready to talk commitment when he won’t express his innermost feelings?
Maybe you’ve taken one of those online quizzes like “Does My Boy Friend Want To Marry Me?”
Where did that get ya?
Perhaps you’re still pulling petals and wondering does he really love me or not?
Or what’s taking him so long?
Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered from understanding his signs and your signals and what you can do to perhaps even catalyze the connection.
You’re probably trying not to be pushy, but some intel from your man would at least calm the obsessive shaking and reading of your Magic 8 Ball you’ve had since you were six. Checking a crystal ball to see if he’ll eventually propose is entertaining at best.
Know this: Men prefer to demonstrate their feelings through actions instead of words.
Signs He Wants To Marry You
Consider the following examples as positive signs he may be thinking about commitment:
- Your guy has become accountable. If he's held up at work or stuck in traffic, he calls or shoots you a text message. On nights you aren't together, he is always where he's supposed to be. There are no guessing games.
- When you spend the night together, he gets up first and presents you with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. Similar actions, when repeated over and over are little rituals to anchor your love. He is very proud to have thought of something that pleases you. And he wants to please you.
- He has already bought plane tickets for your summer vacation together and it's only February. Long term planning is a 5-star love action.
Our Conclusion: Use real life experiences to gauge non-verbal signs he is ready for commitment - this is not some cookie-cutter-quiz with points to tally..
Knowing All That What Can You Do?
There are a lot of things guys are great at communicating, from his pick for the Superbowl to how much he doesn’t want to see that chick flick you’re dying to checkout.
However…If you want to see a nervous, squirming, sweating version of your guy – just start talking marriage or commitment out of the blue sometime. The trick is how you bring it up.
Many women are afraid they’ll ruin a relationship if they ‘rock the boat – ie approach their man about commitment.
Give your guy a little more credit than that. Remember that men like things simple, and generally they’re not going to initiate a conversation about commitment. That’s not part of their “job” description, from their point of view.
Just about any guy, who is in love, will be open to discussion on any topic once he’s comfortable that he is not being grilled or pressured.
Read that part again, it can make all the difference.
That may seem like an obvious path to get him to open up, but it is actually the number one thing that women fail to do when trying to get their man to venture out into the field of relationship discussions.
Before Asking "Does he want to marry me?"
Ponder This: Will he think you want to marry him for the right reasons?
Before the first step in communicating with your significant other about possible commitment issues within your relationship, you really should be fully confident in your feelings for your man.
This helps the process because your confidence will show him this isn’t a fishing expedition on your part – I’ll do it if you do it – isn’t a good approach.
So you’ve figured out how to keep a guy interested and ready to talk marriage.
The absolute worst thing that you can do to a man that has a fear of commitment is to finally get him to overcome or open up this issue and then have you decide that he isn’t the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is very important, so be sure that you are ready for your man to commit before you begin this process.
After you’ve confirmed your feelings for him, set up a time where the two of you can sit down and have a discussion in private.
Make sure that it is a comfortable place free of distractions.
Get The Conversation Going
Start the conversation out by expressing how you feel for your man. In order to get a man to commit– he must know that you feel the same way about him as he does you.By you expressing your feelings first, he should not feel threatened or as if you are accusing him of things.
This is key because he must feel comfortable in order for any progress to be made within the relationship. Once you have voiced your feelings, it’s time to ask him how he feels about you, the relationship and the future.
Look, you already know your guy pretty well – its very important to try to keep this on the lighter side and change course or even abort if he seems reluctant when you start.
These need to be open questions, don’t assume anything – let him open up to what you are asking. Understand that he may not have even pondered these issues – until now.
Try more than ever not to help him answer.
Remember, this is also not a time to beg and plead for his commitment. For that matter, it never is.
The goal of this conversation is to get a better idea of how he feels about commitment, and/or get him him at least thinking in that direction. Prepare yourself – you may find that he doesn’t see you in his future and that’s a totally different problem…
Start with something like this:
“When you imagine your future, what do you see?”
And continue the conversation with questions similar to the following:
“Do you have fears about commitment?”
“Is there something that I can do to make you more confident in our relationship and/or future?”
“Do you believe you will ever be capable of being in a committed relationship?”
Notice how they’re open ended questions…these will help him explore his feelings and not “clam up”
His Answers Will Indicate if He Wants to Marry You
His answers to these types of questions should paint a pretty good picture of how he feels about commitment for you. Be sure you are listening carefully.
The way that the conversation will end depends on his answers. Don’t push him to answer immediately, he may need a little time.
He may say that he needs to overcome his commitment issues, which is very common for men to do. Don’t let this type of response get you down. You have now planted the seed in his head and he will deal with it in due time. The majority of women see their man make huge strides toward commitment after having a conversation like this.
So does he want to marry me is the question you can do something about – just be tactful, take some baby steps and you just may be picking out rings.
One of the very best ways to get a man to commit, or at least thinking about it, is to simply talk about it, just NOT to soon in your relationship.
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship and this may be just what your relationship needs!
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