What Men Want


What men want is to please their women. Couple snuggles under a beach blanket

Have you ever tried to read a man’s mind to? How’d did that go for you?

If he was like every other man on the planet, you probably came up with nothing or something that totally missed the target.

Men and women are very different when it comes to communicating feelings and thoughts and that’s why it’s so difficult to figure out exactly what men want in a relationship!

We’ve done the legwork for you when it comes to figuring out what men want and have found that there are really three essential things that the majority of men are looking for with their partners.


Find Out What Men What in a Relationship


The 3 Essentials:

It’s time to get out your reading glasses, focus and find out what your man is really looking for! Let’s get started…

1) R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Respect.. Above everything else men crave in a relationship is respect..more than sex, more than love…because these cannot exist without deep respect.
If a guy doesn’t feel respected by his partner, chances are, he will distance himself or pull away. 

Aretha Franklin hit the nail on the head with the lyrics in her hit song “Respect” when she sang, “All I’m askin’… is for a little respect when you come home!” If you’ve been pondering over what men want from a relationship, your best bet is to focus on respect before anything else. Just like women, men want to be respected and know that the woman they love looks up to them.

Men don’t only need to be respected by the woman they love, but they tend to command respect from friends and colleagues. Respect is a strong word used in everyday life and in the workplace. Even schools try to ingrain the idea of respect into students throughout their educational career.

Now, that recognized the large role that respect plays in society, it’s time to figure out what “respecting” your man looks like – which obviously depends on the individual.

Being that respect is so very important to guys, it makes sense that communicating about it can skyrocket your relationship!

The best way to find out what men want and how they view respect is to ask them about it.


Angie Says:

It will go much smoother if you don't blindside your guy out of the blue when he's occupied with some task or simply stressed from his day. Always try to have a conversation like this when he is relaxed and comfortable and not focused on something else.

Try out a few of these questions the next time you feel the conversation is conducive to the topic:

“Bubba - what does respect mean to you in a relationship?” Or

“What qualities do you think make a person respectful?”

(The important thing here is to create an interchange of ideas...and be willing to make some adjustments.)

At this point you’ll be more comfortable about asking the big kahuna:

“Have there been certain situations in which you feel I’ve disrespected you?”Or

“I feel like you respect me when you do _________ Do I do anything that makes you feel respected?”What men want in a woman is respect. Interracial couple happy and conversing on couch.

If your guy and you have built a relationship on a foundation of trust, these questions should open up the conversation about respect. Don’t be nervous if your man grabs ahold of the conversation and really tells you how he feels about respect and what men want from a relationship. This is a great sign and what you want to happen!

Don’t let the conversation about respect end with him answering your questions. You also need to let him know that you appreciate his honesty and willingness to communicate. Men love when women recognize that the conversation they’ve just participated in isn’t easy. It shows men that they can open up and be honest without be criticized for expressing their feelings!


2) A Little Encouragement Never Hurt


Along the same lines as respect, men thrive on encouragement – especially when it comes from their significant other. Consistently finding small ways to “build up” your spouse or significant other will “build up” your relationship without a doubt.

The best way to recognize the difference encouragement can make in a relationship is to look at it from your perspective. How do you feel when your man gives you a compliment on something you’ve done? Does it make you feel good knowing that your partner believes in you and the choices you make? Of course it does!

The easiest way to build your partner up is to focus on things that he does that make you feel good about him and your relationship. Let him know that you appreciate what he is doing...this is worth so much more than reacting/nagging over things that you have no control over.
If encouragement had a sister, her name would be positive affirmation. Just as men want encouragement from a relationship, they also crave positive affirmation from their girlfriends or wives. Now the question is “How do you provide encouragement and affirmation for your man?”

If you are truly wondering what men want from a relationship and want to focus on encouraging your man, here are a couple ways you can go about it:

1. Spend Time With  The Real Him

The best way, by far, to show your man that you care about him is to spend time with him.
This time spent with him doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Simply“hang” with him sometimes( learn some of his lingo..whether it be sports , music, cars or whatever).
It can be as simple as sitting down with him on the couch to watch one of his favorite television shows. The key to spending time with your man is to show him that you want to be with him regardless of what the two of you do because you appreciate him.

2. Put It In a Note

You can encourage your man and show affirmation by telling him how much you believe in him, etc. – but the message comes across far more potent in writing. Make it a habit to leave you man little notes throughout his day wishing him well and expressing your love for him. These types of notes are the perfect way to remind him how much you love and care for him.



3)  What Men Want in a Woman is for You to Be His Companion

The last, but surely not least, thing that men want from a relationship is companionship. Being a man’s “companion” may not seem romantic or overall inviting at this point in your life, but it will come to be the most important thing in your relationship someday.

All relationships start out exciting, sexy and sometimes scandalous – but this will all begin to vanish as time goes on. Most people think this is a bad thing – but it’s only bad when it’s the only thing the relationship is based on. If a relationship is built on a strong and sturdy foundation – it will only get better as time goes on. This is precisely why companionship is one of the most important things men want in a relationship!

How do you become someone’s companion? Well, the key to companionship is NOT always having the same exact beliefs and interests as your partner. This is a major misconception when it comes to relationships! True companionship is formed when both individuals in a relationship embrace diversity and freedom.

Have you heard the saying, “The dog is a man’s best friend”? Have you heard others suggest that pets are great companions for certain types of people? Well, we can learn a little something about human relationships from animals. It’s true that pets are great companions and it’s important to see why.

A person’s pet doesn’t possess the exact same values, characteristics and interests as its owner – but yet it is a great companion. A pet provides great companionship because it values what its owner has to offer in the relationship (care, food, health) and in turns gives its owner what it can offer (love, loyalty, fun, etc.).

The point of this pet/companionship analogy is not meant to suggest that we should act like animals in our relationship, but rather to illustrate what creates companionship in a relationship!


All in all, it’s very evident that there are three major essential things that make up what men want in a relationship: respect, encouragement and companionship. Evaluate your current relationship to see if you exude the necessary qualities to make these essentials a reality. If not, make a conscious effort to play up these qualities in your relationship and see if it causes your relationship to become a happier, more fulfilling one!


Thanks for checking our post What Men Want.

Please comment below, good, bad or something else we'd love to hear from you!


  • Andrea Robinson

    Reply Reply May 29, 2015

    This should be easy, because the three major points listed here are things that everyone wants:

    1. Respect
    2. Encouragement
    3. Companionship

    I totally agree that if the partners are giving each other this much positive attention, the relationship is bound to flourish. And I love the idea of simply asking whether or not he’s getting what he wants out of the relationship. One of the most important ideas in the article is that the conversation shouldn’t stop there, but we women should also bring out the things he does that make us feel respected, encouraged, and part of a whole. I also think that if you open a conversation asking him what he wants and then end it with what you want, it can look like an underhanded attempt to ask for what you want instead of being straightforward. The article states very truthfully that men appreciate honesty and simplicity in conversation.

    I think it’s possible to respect and admire someone without looking “up” to him or her. Therefore, the idea of trying to look up to a spouse for the sake of making him feel respected does not ring true to me.

  • Ann

    Reply Reply June 4, 2015

    Love this article! And agree with it all. As I’m in my 2nd marriage, we have all these points between us. With my first, we were both young , but I KNEW 2 weeks after we got married that I’d made a huge mistake….I tried supporting him, nothing worked. And I couldn’t respect him because he was expecting me to LIE to his family (therefore mine) about certain things…..I don’t lie. Not to my family or friends and certainly not FOR them.Honesty is, and has always been, a strong point for me. When he got mad I didn’t “cover” for him, I was done….5 years my senior, and you’re lying to your family? Ummm, no….thought I married a man, apparently still a child.

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